TITLE: MUSICAL FORMAT: Screenplay (Parody)
EXT. MISERABLE CHICAGO – DAY
ALEXANDER HAMILTON, a talking cat, dances on stage. He is an American Jersey Boy, drenched in grease and lightning.
HAMILTON
(music voice)
My name is Alexander Hamilton.
I am the Phantom of the Oprah
and I never pay rent.
Every word rhymes and the music is instruments. ANNIE, the girl with 0 moms and 0 dads, tap dances to hurt the stage.
ANNIE
(with soundliness)
Tomorrow the sun will appear.
But it will not give me the parents?
I shall kill the sun. I get my gun.
Annie dissolves in a puff of music. Hamilton spins around for 525,600 minutes.
THE BEAST, a talking cat, drops out of beauty school onto the stage. Beast is landlord.
BEAST
(like piano)
To be guest, you must pay rent!
Mamma Mia!
Annie, the girl with 0 mammas and 0 mias, enters with her gun. She shoots the Beast with a bullet of choreography.
ANNIE
(original cast)
I dreamed a dream and now I have
gunned a gun. Give me parents.
The Beast dies and his curse breaks. He was cursed to be in a musical. Death ends his curse. This is the Circle of Life.
HAMILTON
(sung from eyes)
I am founding father. I will find
you father. You must buy own mother.
I am ten dollar man.
Hamilton searches for a father.
MARY PIPPINS, a talking umbrella, flies in on her broom. She is blonde, legally.
MARY PIPPINS
(British noises)
It is intermission.
It is not intermission. Mary's lie will have consequences.
This screenplay page is a transcription of a circulating image macro commonly shared under the caption:
“I forced a bot to watch 1,000 hours of musicals and then had it write a musical of its own.”
Its authorship is unknown, and there is no verified evidence that it was produced by an actual machine-learning model.
Instead, it belongs to the broader “I forced a bot to watch…” parody meme format, which was popularized (but not exclusively written) by comedian Keaton Patti beginning in 2018.
The meme format is documented here:
- KnowYourMeme — “I Forced a Bot to Watch…”
https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/i-forced-a-bot-to-watch
This transcription is provided for cultural, archival, and research purposes.
No claim of authorship is made.